can we get nightvision for the apartment?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
