He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
