Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You're like the curious george of whores
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
