Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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