dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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