who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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