I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
True college students do jello shots in the library
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
