i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
