if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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