Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
