i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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