Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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