i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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