I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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