Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
