as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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