this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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