Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
