I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
