kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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