Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
