After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
