Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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