everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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