what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
