Screwed.edu
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
BRING THE BAGELS
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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