imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
