There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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