I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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