you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
