Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
