I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
