How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
