i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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