I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize