***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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