true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
