i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
