Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
