why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
