im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
