This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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