U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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