he was CRYING into my vagina
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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