i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
