Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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