Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You just made me feel so damn special
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She's the barista slut.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
