I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
