I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
