just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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