I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
