Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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