Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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