I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
