Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
