We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize