Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
