Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
