It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
