The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
